Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize