He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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