If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
