I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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