Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
