apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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