what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
