Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
