Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
