As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
