someone threw a dead crab at me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
