If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
