It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize