Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
