Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
