i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
