goodnight i made you a song goodbye
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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