Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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