You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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