We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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