New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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