he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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