Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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