I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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