Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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