Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
