so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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