i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
