I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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