They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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