God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
