Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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