There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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