I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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