a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize