doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
