they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
