Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
