Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
