Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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