So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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