I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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