waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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