Pappa wants mamma naked
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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