JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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