im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
