I am puke
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
