He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
