dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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