then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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