Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Michael Bay diarrhea
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
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