is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
