i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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