I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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