I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My dick has a subreddit
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
