seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
