Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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