Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
