i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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