I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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